Are you going through a tough time right now, or last week, or thinking another one might be coming up? You may have seen the Downton Abbey episode in which Violet Crowley tells her granddaughter, Edith, that life is a series of problems to be solved. She tells her, “You solve one and then there is another and you solve it and it keeps going until you die!” (Paraphrased per my memory.)
Violet’s message to us all sounds both familiar and, potentially, discouraging at the same time. We all like to be successful at solving problems and are usually both pleased and relieved when we have solved the problem. Sometimes, we feel so blown away by that last problem “storm,” that the next one seems overwhelming! What do you do when you can’t sleep? How do you handle freeing yourself when your mind is obsessing about something? How do you face your friend, spouse or neighbor after a big blow up? These are real questions and I encourage you to send your answers to the blog response section for sharing with both myself and others.
What to do right now?
These are a few quick things you can do to help make a shift in your consciousness!
- Honor your own frustration by scheduling a time on the calendar for you to really work on the problem with yourself, a friend or by doing some research. Then go and wash your face in really cold water – it helps to reset you emotionally (I will cover more of the why of that in a later blog). Then let it go because you know you will deal with it in the appropriate time.
- Is the issue still nagging on you? Regular meditation usually doesn’t work if we are really stuck in a groove, but circle breathing has worked for me at times. I set a timer for 10 minutes, I sit and close my eyes and imagine there is a circle that goes over my head and around my feet. Then I breathe the circle, imagining this: when I am breathing in I imagine the breath going from the bottom of the circle to the top of my head (surprise!) and then when I breath out, I imagine it going from the top of my head to the bottom of my circle at my feet. Yes, this does not seem like the typical way you would imagine your breath but it is absolutely fine to do this for 10 minutes and it really helps to calm our minds and jumpy nerve endings.
- A similar breath based calming exercise is to trace your hand. Use either hand to trace the other hand. Start at the base of your thumb and as your opposite side index finger moves up the side of your thumb, breath in. As it goes down the other side of your thumb breath out. Continue this way for each finger. Then get up and get moving with your day! You have scheduled time for the problem and you can go on with your life.
- Then there is the naming five activity. Imagine yourself on a park bench and imagine a scene in front of you, OR, literally go sit outside somewhere, and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste!
The Divine has given us ways to work with our problems that exist in our own bodies. Give thanks for these great gifts.
The Divine has also given us other people. I had been feeling guilty having neighbor issues over a property line and I decided to hand it over to an attorney. One of the Spiritual Directors in the valley told me: “Give what is legal to those who understand the law.” It was a wonderful freeing message. We do not have to do it all ourselves!
What to do in the longer term?
I sincerely believe there are ways we can prepare ourselves for the next problem, the next problem after that and the problem beyond the last one! Now, there are a lot of answers to how we can do this, but I believe the most important one is to begin a regular practice of Centering Prayer as described by Father Thomas Keating. It is a form of prayer in which we move beyond the always active, hamster wheel mind, to really open ourselves to the Divine.
As Father Thomas Keating noted, this form of opening ourselves to our Lord will result, at times, in feeling like we are stirring a stick around the sediment in the bottom of a pond. A lot of muck will kick up! This will have a lasting impact on us and it is always wise to do this in a Centering Prayer group, and it helps to have a spiritual director or maybe a therapist. Over time, it will bring a great sense of assurance and equanimity.
Have I both scared and intrigued you? If so, I can’t cover all the basics here, but please check into this excellent resource which provides instruction “how to” participate in Centering Prayer: https://www.contemplativeoutreachportland.com/
You can use a search engine to search for a Centering Prayer group in your state, or city, if you are in a large community.
In La Grande, Oregon, a Centering Prayer group meets every Monday at noon in the Presbyterian Church parlor, on the main floor of the church. Usually there is no meeting on holidays.
While we always want to share our concerns with our Creator, through prayer, this form of prayer opens us to healing by the Creator. That healing is deep and lasting.
Thank you for reading.
